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Folie à Deux, by Jim Cunneely
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Every child learns, at a certain age, to keep secrets. Maybe it’s a drag from a cigarette or a beer in the basement. What if the secret was the most shameful, yet impressive thing that ever happened in your life? What if you knew this fact would make you the envy of every other boy your age? But a confidence is useless if nobody in the world can be told. Then the burden turns inward, carried exclusively and morbidly by the sole proprietor. You love it, you hate it, you need it and can’t wait to shed it all at once. This memoir is the story of labyrinthine secret that dragged Jim Cunneely to his limit. Jim had no idea how unbearably damaged his adolescence was until years later, when almost too late to fix the incalculable damage. This is what he found upon reaching the end of himself. This quite timely memoir explores in a raw and unrelenting manner the journey to rebuild a shattered life. One cannot simply read this story, it must be entered. Emerging possible only after it’s completion.
- Sales Rank: #1786918 in Books
- Published on: 2013-09-16
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .85" w x 5.50" l, .96 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 374 pages
About the Author
Jim Cunneely lives in Sussex County, New Jersey, where he has lived the majority of his life. His first published work, a memoir is the first step toward the only career choice he has ever made for himself. Jim enjoys spending time with his family, friends, and especially embracing all facets of the complex lives of his three wonderful children. When not writing or working his “day job” he can be found either reading or wandering on his mountain bike somewhere in the woods.
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
I don't "love" this story, but it's a book that deserves 5 stars for many reasons...
By AEC
I've had so many thoughts and emotions about this book since I finished it last week. The hard part was deciding which thoughts and emotions to put into words. I hate reading long reviews myself, so I'll do my best to be brief.
There are a ton of errors in the ebook version, so be warned. It's annoying at times, however both parts of the story were so compelling that I was able to get completely sucked in without getting very distracted by the errors. Believe or not, despite the errors it's extremely well written. The reader literally feels every emotion the writer expresses which is a difficult, but necessary experience when reading this I think.
Be prepared though. When experiencing these emotions in part 2, you will NOT be sympathetic or even empathetic to the author. It's a strange phenomenon in the reading of a book. In fact, you'll be down right horrified and disgusted at the writer. I think that's the point though. The writer was obviously a victim in part 1, but if you know the case, you know that he was the perpetrator in Part 2. Sadly though, not everyone saw "Talia" as the victim when it happened. "Mr. Cunneely" was a well known, very well liked teacher and as a result many people blamed the victim. This is of course typical in any case of abuse, but that fact doesn't change its significance to the victim. She was 15. He was 31. She was a child. He took that from her. There is no debating that.
Unfortunately, not everyone in her circle saw it that way. The book doesn't tell you this, but "Talia" dropped out after this. She went to night school to get her diploma. This is why I think the details so many readers complained about were necessary. We hear the terms "victim", "illicit", "statutory rape", but unless you've experienced it, it's hard to grasp the gravity of such egregious offenses. Furthermore, I think anyone who previously blamed "Talia" and subsequently reads this book, will absolutely change his mind about who's to blame for this awful tragedy. Yes, I said tragedy. What he stole from her; what he did to her can never be undone. The effects of the entire 'relationship' will haunt and disturb her for eternity.
As upsetting and disturbing as this horrifying true story was to read, I'm glad that I did. First, our society views abuse perpetrated by "good people" as a taboo concept to even discuss, never mind read an entire book on. For this reason, it's difficult for the average Joe to grasp what it all means, and the gravity of its effects. So , I'm glad this story is out there and I hope that one day "Talia" heals enough to write her own version of events. I don't doubt the truthfulness of the author in this book, but perspective is important. I fear his telling of the events barely scratch the surface of "Talia's" victimization. We'll never know just how badly she's been affected, even if she does tell us. Just as we'll never really know how badly Jim was affected. Nevertheless, the telling and reading of these stories are important. Secrecy is the fuel of abuse, just as exposure is the antidote.
As a parent, I learned how easily we can be fooled, but more importantly how imperative it is to stay connected to the daily lives of my kids, no matter how "old" they get. I realized that as teens, they will still be kids, easily victimized, and I need to remember that no matter how grown up they may appear to be when that time comes. I'll always remember the stories of "Ms. D" and "Mr. Cunneely".
Bottom line, I recommend this book to all readers over the age of 21.
PS, You must read the epilogue and afterword (written by the psychiatrist), especially if you're skeptical of the author's telling of part 1 or angry in the details expressed in Part 2.
8 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Breaking the "Wall of Silence"
By Ingrid Anders
Abuse happens under our noses every day. I walked the halls of Lenape Valley Regional High School with Jim, the cute kid with the diamond earring, and then the grounds of Penn State with Jerry Sandusky, cheering his football prowess at the height of his atrocities. These stories shock us when they break. We wring our hands and cry, "How could this have happened?"
Jim tells us how. Jim relives and recounts his experiences as victim and perpetrator to bring us the truth. It is tough reading. Every word makes me queasy. Mechanical errors distract at times. I fear these may prevent the book from reaching a wider audience, so I implore the author to re-proofread and re-release.
Never the less, Jim has taken a crucial step to breaking the "wall of silence" that enables and perpetuates abuse. Let's share his work. Let's join him in talking about the unspeakable. Let's memorize the red flags he describes and commit to asking uncomfortable and persistent questions of anyone who displays them--including the esteemed and powerful--including our own selves. Let's expose abuse. Let's join Jim in putting a spotlight, a megaphone, and a mirror to it. Let's do it for us, for our children, and for that cute kid in the halls of LVR Jim never actually got to be.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Shameless
By Heather T
This is so utterly beyond the pale that it's difficult for me to believe that it's real.
I was a student of Jim's. The events described in this book happened after I graduated, but when I heard, it was staggering. For those outside of Sussex County: you don't know what kind of place this is. It's like Mayberry. The doors in my house were never locked--that's how safe it was. Child molesters didn't just go gallivanting about high schools with a grin on their face.
Of course, now that I'm older, I understand that many perpetrators do just exactly that. However, what many perpetrators don't have is the kind of intelligence and gaul to even conceive of, let alone complete, an act as narcissistic as this.
I wonder, you know, how his ex-wife--the one he humiliated in life and in open court by screwing a little girl--feels about this book. But more importantly, I wonder how his children feel. It's not as if this book is going to take off like James Frey's "A Million Little Pieces", but one wonders: Do his children want to walk around bearing the weight of being the children of a sex offender the rest of their lives? Do they want people to know that? Draw the connection between the man whose face is on the back of this book and the children they see in school?
I'd wager Jim didn't think of that. Because if anything--if there's any kind of pattern to discuss here that matters--it's the Jim evidently doesn't think beyond the end of his own...impulse.
One wonders, too, if the girl involved in this "folie � deux" wants this story circulated for all to see, either.
What this is really a story of is a man narcissistic enough to believe that he could do what he wanted. I'm not invalidating the effects of his own childhood victimization, but come on. He's sunk into obscurity. He's doing drywall now, or something like that--here, this trilingual sensitive poet. Doing drywall.
And trying desperately to recuperate his name by doing a tell-all. Here's the problem, Jim: Humbert Humbert wasn't real.
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